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Love Lesson #10: Keeping the Romance Alive

Keeping romance alive requires attention to pleasing yourself.

Make a list of what you like to do.

Ask your partner or friend to make their own list—not the things you want to do together but the things you each love to do, whether alone or with someone else.

Doing what you love pleases and satisfies you and that makes it easier to have a relationship with you. When we are much more focused on pleasing others it is more difficult to have a relationship with ourselves.

After you have each created your own pleasure list, exchange and review them, and create jointly another list of ways you might be able to enjoy the things on both lists together.

A very important item at this point is to be sure you allow time for yourself to do exactly what you like to do by yourself. Schedule ME time for yourself each week. You might use ME time for reading or taking a bath or talking to a friend long-distance on the phone or cleaning your bedroom but, it’s ME (YOU!) time—special time for yourself that you do not share your partner.

Now that you know clearly what each of you loves to do, plan a trip together. Narrow your choices, then get videos or books from the library, do some online research, attend some travel lectures. (By the way, don’t ever move in with or marry someone you haven’t taken a trip with. It’s a great way to test the co-habitation waters!)

If you don’t think you can afford to take a trip together, re-frame it as an exciting project. How can we earn enough money to take this trip together? There are many ways to earn some extra money to pay for a fun trip.

And for romance at home: At the beginning of each month obtain a copy of local events, whether from newspapers, online sources, or the glossy magazines available at any major hotel. In planning your date nights, take a look at all that’s available to you, highlighting what you would like to do in one color. Invite your partner/friend to highlight what they want to do in different color. Keep a separate event calendar for everything you want to do together and leave time for planning because it all takes time and funds. So what if you have to sell some things on E-bay or have a rummage sale together to come up with the money? It’s all fun. The planning can make it more exciting and you will begin to experience the joy of manifestation. When you decide you want something it sometimes comes to you in magical ways. The secret to getting what you want in life is to decide what you want.

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