Love Lesson #14: Attracting True Love by Building Your Self-Esteem and Self-Value
Jill thinks like a man and looks like Marilyn Monroe. Quite a combination! She has a brilliant mind for numbers and makes a great operations manager. Once she makes up her mind, swift action follows. For Jill, graduating from high school during an era that programmed women for a life modeling June Cleaver or Harriet Nelson meant frustration and entrapment. There wasn’t a role model for talent and energy like hers. Hmmm, maybe there still isn’t…about the closest I could come would be Oprah Winfrey—Jill’s dynamic, energetic, multidimensional, and very caring.
To add to Jill’s frustrations, it was easy for her to attract men, but rarely could one hold her interest long enough or she would find a male ego soon threatened by her dynamic energy. She married shortly after high school to a man who fit all the socioeconomic and religious molds that pleased her parents and soon had two boys and a husband who became very successful . . . and very abusive. When some men’s egos are threatened, they might do anything to maintain dominance. She finally ran for her life.
She found work as a beauty salon marketing and operations manager. As they began to recognize her true talents she was quickly promoted to manager of all six of their salons. Jill thrived on all the action and complexity of this management position and she began to recognize her talents and what really excited and motivated her. She loved fine things and knew that working like this was never going to give her the life she had envisioned for herself.
Jill began searching deeper and studying metaphysics. She grew spiritually and in wisdom about the true meaning of life. In no time, she was no longer willing to be involved with men at a superficial level and began “creating” her life-mate. She realized that after leaving her husband she had built a wall between herself and men, and now she wanted to let just one very special man in. She knew she had to heal herself first and begin to build trust within herself so that she could trust herself to KNOW who was the right man when he showed up. She read books on “Creating Your Ideal Mate,” “Attracting Love,” and every similar topic she could get her hands on. She wanted to fill her mind with the belief that she could NOW create a better relationship than she had ever had or ever seen.
The more Jill read about metaphysics and attraction, the more she realized that she still had some internal discovery and re-creating within herself to do before she would be able to receive this kind of totally loving man into her life and her heart. She attended some seminars and surrounded herself with new friends who were devoted to their own self-discovery They supported each other in creating deeper, more meaningful relationships and friendships as they all grew to embrace into their lives and live the principles of “brotherly love” and “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
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The Love Lesson here is that you must learn how to honor yourself and treat yourself with respect and love and tenderness before you will be able to treat others as well as you would like to be treated. When you learn at a profound level to treat yourself truly well, you will never allow anyone else to mistreat you and you will actually only attract people who will be in alignment with how well you treat yourself.
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Jill became very clear that she wanted a man of great spiritual depth and wisdom, who walked his talk. A man who would use these principles to make a difference in the world and take action. A man she could trust completely because he truly honored and appreciated her. A man who would see her talents and energy and integrate her into his life. A man with whom she could surrender herself in love. A man who wanted to build an empire with her, who shared in her desire to make the world a better place to live. As a couple, she and this man could share their wealth with others and teach others how to build their own empires. As a couple, she and this man would thrive together because they balanced and supported each other in perfect harmony.
One day she told her coach Sunni, “I think I’m going to marry a short, pudgy Jewish man who works with money.” Now, if you ever saw Jill, you might expect her to end up with a very tall, handsome man, so this was an interesting revelation. Sure enough, a few weeks later some mutual friends introduced her to this exact man she had seen in her vision. It took them a few years to work out some complications, but they have now been married for ten years and they continue to grow and GLOW together. They truly honor and revere each other. She pampers him and makes sure everything is just right for him to do what he does best. She has become his operations manager at home and in his business. She is a brilliant asset to his already very successful life and he knows it and appreciates her and adores her. He treats her like his Jewel . . . and that’s exactly what he calls her.